Kelsey: How did you get interested in photography?
Angela: I have been surrounded by art my entire life. My father was my elementary school art teacher and my parents owned an art gallery in the small town that I grew up in. I followed in my father’s footsteps and became an art teacher, but considered my medium drawing/painting.
When I started to attend SPE (Society of Photographic Educators) conferences with my husband, who was studying Photography as an MFA candidate, I was exposed to imagery that I was entirely unfamiliar with. I saw Kelli Connell and Lori Nix give artist talks at the first conference I attended and I was blown away by the content they were documenting with their cameras. I had only considered a camera as a way to photograph “reality”, much like Ansel Adams’ work. I always struggled with drawings and paintings becoming what I envisioned. The result never met the expectations of my imagination. It was after this conference that I realized photography can live up to the original idea and that images can be fabricated or manipulated.
In 2013, we moved to Columbia, MO for my husband to teach Photography in the School of Visual Studies at MU. I became acquainted with his colleague, Joe Johnson, and asked if he would allow me to audit his Large Format Photo class. I wanted to learn how to develop and print in the darkroom. It was during this class that I latched onto photography permanently. I am now in my 3rd year as an MFA candidate at MU focusing in Photography as my medium.
Kelsey: What led you to this series of photographs - specifically working with your son?
Angela: When I became a mother in 2013 (right after moving to Columbia), I was faced with more than I could handle in my new role. I was in a new place without a social support structure and feeling completely overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a new mom. All of the women in my family had been stay at home mothers and seemed to fit into this role with ease. The amount of struggle I was having with it made me feel like a failure. At the same time, I was frustrated with how little knowledge was passed on to me about the weight that caretaking for an infant would require. I was struggling with bi-polar emotions of contentedness and joy and resentment for what it actually involved.
The class I audited with Joe Johnson happened in the Fall of 2015 when my son was two years old. This opportunity became a place of sanctuary and respite for me to connect with my former self. We were given a tableaux vivant assignment and I decided to photograph some mom friends that were also staying home to care for their children. I photographed them with their kids and when I hung the work up for the class critique, the feedback impacted me so deeply. It was as if the feeling of invisibility in my role was dissipating in the moments that my peers were discussing my imagery. I applied to the program at MU with this work, which I continued after I left the Large Format class.
I started the Graduate program in the Fall of 2019. As I began to make work, I continued to photograph mothers with their children. Yet, as the pandemic started in the Spring of 2020, I was forced to pivot, as it seemed unsafe to continue entering peoples’ homes. Without a lot of options, I started to point my camera towards my son. As I first started to make new work, the images were doting and quirky representations of him. Yet, as the work grew, I realized that the imagery I was trying to make with other mothers, could be done between the two of us. It started to feel natural and more authentic. I realized that as I turned the camera on us, I was able to achieve images that I was straining to make with other women and their children. This work became my focus for my 2nd Year Review in the Graduate program and evolved into my “Good Mother” series.
Kelsey: What is your process - how do you find the images to make... are they based on interactions? Do you see the image in your head and recreate it?
Angela: When I first started making photographs, especially of mothers and their children, I think I relied heavily on the inspiration of painters, like John Singer Sargent and Mary Cassatt. After I discovered more photographers, I leaned on the formal quality of Joel Sternfeld’s portrait work, which lent itself nicely to my using a large format 4 x 5 camera on a tripod. When I eventually switched to a digital camera, I started to be inspired by Elinor Carucci’s “Mother Series”. The images in her work were so palpable and tense. I wanted to bring this type of tension to my new work with my son and I. So, I began to write down image ideas in a list and walk my son through my ideas before we would start a session together. I would use events and circumstances that we had gone through in the past and recreate them for the camera. I would also stay open as much as possible to the moment happening before me and follow inspiration when it seemed important to do so.
Kelsey: What does your son think about the work you're doing? In other words how is the process for him?
Angela: Photographing my son at first was easy and he was a willing participant. However, as the work began to build and I was feeling the pressure and time table of 2nd Year Review and having this work be resolved, my son became a bit more disagreeable to the demands I was placing on him. I would have to beg him to participate at times. We both have shed a lot of tears during the making of this work. There were a few times where I thought I would have to give up and start something new.
At one point, I agreed to give him a break and after the break we wrote up a contract that we both signed. The contract was photographed and became a part of the series. It defines the amount of time his is willing to work and for what reward. It also states that he is allowed to say “no x number of times.” It became a boundary for us to both work from. I do not think this contract would have been necessary outside of the constraints of my Graduate program. I was also making this work during the Pandemic and my son was in Virtual Learning for the year. So, we were consumed with one another during this process in a way that makes the work even more emphatic for the two of us.
The work is not only about our relationship to one another but it was also this secondary association of collaborating in front of a lens. This “Good Mother” series has come to a pause, yet I am still making work with my son. I believe he is starting to understand the role he plays in my work. He recently saw himself in the images hung on walls and said “I’m famous!” I am not sure how our photographic relationship will evolve over time, but this work has become incredibly precious to me.
Kelsey: How do you decide what work is in color (like in this selection for the CAL show) vs. what work you show in B&W?
Angela: Originally, I never saw myself becoming a color photographer. I loved working with black and white film. Also, when I entered the Graduate program, I was learning everything about Photography as medium for the first time. So, the control of working with just black and white film was helpful at first. Switching to color became a bit trickier with editing and maintaining a steady palette in the work. The “Good Mother” images seem to function well in color though. There is a playful and humorous tone with some of the images and the color lends well for this purpose. I am now making new work with my son and it is all in black and white. This work is more somber in tone and the black and white film is helping to steer the imagery in this direction.
Kelsey: And lastly… Do you think this series of work will ever be “done"?
Angela: To be honest, I am not sure. After my 2nd Year Review, I was so exhausted by the making of “Good Mother.” I needed a break and so did my son. Then rather than continuing on with it in the next semester of Grad school, I started new work. This work was inspired by an image I made in the “Good Mother” project. It was of my son wearing one of his father’s suits. He is swimming in it. It prompted me to think more about my fears of the future and my sadness for him growing up so quickly. At this point in time, I feel artistically compelled to make work about motherhood. However, I have many other photographic ideas constantly spinning around in my head. I write them down so that I know I can always come back to them if I want to. Most important to me is the freedom to follow whatever creative pursuits are tugging on me and just will not let me go.
